# Forecast for: Houston, TX

Generated on July 09, 2026 at 01:01PM Eastern Time

** planetary weather report **

** planet: Earth ( Terra ) **

** location: Not specified **

** forecast: **

Slight chance of unscheduled watering and loud noises after 1pm on the surface of this peculiar planet. Otherwise, bright and hot conditions are expected, with temperatures reaching as high as 98 degrees Fahrenheit in the shade. However, do not be fooled - the heat index values will likely make it feel like a balmy 107 degrees.

** wind: **

Gentle breeze from the south at 5-10 kilometers per hour, which is roughly equivalent to "a nice day for a picnic" on most other planets.

** precipitation: **

20% chance of unexpected and possibly inconvenient water droplets falling from the sky. Not a guarantee, but more likely than not. Carry an umbrella or other suitable protection if you value your dignity.

** advice to travelers: **

Do not attempt to remove your shoes and dance in the downpour unless absolutely necessary. And for the love of all that is sane, do not try to communicate with the local inhabitants during a thunderstorm. They seem to have a peculiar affection for standing under trees during this time, which can be... enlightening.

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**STYLE:** Entry in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy